Coffins12:09 AMCoffins by ~CecilyRoseMidnight
What the fuck am I doing with my life?
I've got nothing but this cord of depression tickling my minds door
As if it were a church bell, constantly ringing on the hour except every minute is a new hour
As if it were rushing water against a dam that feels so old its about to break and water seeps through eighteen years of cracks and punches through cement walls that actually have the consistancy of styrofoam, pieces of popcorn hot-glued together, or those tiny little marshmallows you can get in a package of hot chocolate stacked on top of each other
Every minute I feel like my dog is barking at an intruder in my house but my house is my mind because I can't seem to get any of these versions of reality straight
But do I care?
Because emotionally speaking, I'm dead.
I've hit a rut. My life lacks wonder, excitement, danger, adventure, love and acts that happen in the most raunchiest of porn movies. Goodness gracious I'm only seventeen but society had already drugged me up
Fight BackI walked into my mothers room today,Fight Back by ~CecilyRoseMidnight
And she was apologizing for being rude earlier,
And I said okay, I never said I forgave her.
Because in my mind, it was already forgiven.
Then she asked if I had something to say,
Wanting an apology for being rude.
I said I wasn't being rude,
And I walked away.
But I had wished I hadn't just walked away.
I always manage to do that, I never fight back,
I always evade, avoid,
Like a coward.
One of these days I'd like to say whats meant to be said.
That I wasn't rude,
I was merely reacting to her actions,
Though it wasn't necessarily good,
Can she blame me for defending myself?
Is my repressed animalistic nature
Something so horrible?
Sometimes I wish I was this connectable being,
Like this puzzle piece that fits in perfectly,
And every other being around me praises me
For doing a good job at being a sheep.
So content with just falling into step with the others.
But all my sides can never match with anothers,
Because all of my sides constantly change,